Coaching, mentoring and going forward with Big Brother

Back in the offices of Wink & Kinker the day after the debacle of the team-building games, and Johnson has just received a summons from a senior manager.



Johnson spied Goode and Bedford on their way in, and intercepted them.
“I’ve just been summoned.”
“Where, Mitchell Turner’s?” asked Goode.
“No. Colin Camper’s.”
“Ooops,” said Bedford.
“For the high jump then,” said Goode.
“Have you packed all your stuff up? Ready for the move?” asked Bedford.
“Get him a bin liner,” said Goode.
“Very funny. I’ll let you know what to expect,” said Johnson.
“If they let you back in here,” said Bedford.
“Might be escorted out by security,” said Goode.
“As I said, I’ll let you know what to expect.”
“Fair enough,” said Bedford and Goode.
Johnson took the lift to the fourth floor. Normally he would have walked, but he didn’t want to arrive sweaty and out of breath. Following Camper’s directions, he found himself outside a door with a plastic nameplate, ‘Colin Camper’, it said, and below, ‘Operations Director’. Whatever that means, thought Johnson. He knocked, heard a muffled assent, and entered.
Colin Camper sat behind a substantial desk that had been polished so hard that it looked slippery, Mitchell Turner sat in the corner, today all is slippery, observed Johnson.
“Sit down,” said Camper, formalities over.
“Good morning,” said Johnson.
“Morning,” mumbled Camper, grudgingly.
“Morning Mitchell,” said Johnson.
Mitchell Turner didn’t say anything.
“Well, you know why you’re here,” Camper started.
“Well, I assume it’s about yesterday,” Johnson confirmed.
“Unacceptable behaviour on your part. Totally unacceptable.”
It was Johnson’s turn not to say anything.
“Mitchell, here,” Camper flung out an arm in Turner’s direction, “Mitchell is your boss. Your B.O.S.S., and, as such, you should treat him with some respect.”
Johnson maintained radio silence.
“I expect people in your position, may I say, your lowly position, to present themselves at company events and behave like adults.”
Johnson was Trappist-like.
“I’d go as far as to say this was insubordination. You were inconsiderate. You betrayed no semblance of thought for your team-mates. You did not join in. You, and you alone, were responsible for ruining the whole day for everyone. You, young man were the catalyst, the ringleader, the troublemaker. I know that there are certain people here, who shall remain nameless, who are calling for your dismissal.” Camper rather ruined the subterfuge by waving an arm at Turner again. Camper’s complexion, which was normally almost translucent was reddening quite alarmingly from collar to hairline. Even the ears, noted Johnson, even the freckles on his ears, he looks like he’s got measles.
“Mitchell?” enquired Camper, as he took a gulp of water.
“I’ve got nothing to add,” said Turner. He looks back to his old self, no sign of a shadow of his former, thought Johnson, although that would be hard to locate.
“Now, although, as I say, there have been calls for you to be dismissed, I’m not going along with that, I cannot begin to understand your behaviour, perhaps drink was a factor, perhaps you are easily led, but surely we’re allowed one mistake in life, eh? I think that, if properly channelled, your talents can be of use to the Wink and Kinker family, give us the boy and we’ll give you the man, isn’t it? I understand that you have worked well in your position and you were deemed to have a future here, and I have some experience in the coaching of young men, of soldiers, so I think we can get the best out of you yet. What I would like you to do is apologise to Mitchell, your boss, remember, and then we can move on. Now, going forward, I would like Mitchell to take much more of a role in your development, take you under his wing, say. You will report to him at seven-thirty each morning to review your projects, you will remain in touch on regular basis throughout the morning with Mitchell, to all intents and purposes, sitting on your shoulder, if you like. You will lunch together without the benefit of alcohol, the afternoon will be given over mainly to coaching from Mitchell, and at the end of the working day, whenever that might be, eight, nine, perhaps later, on occasion, you will review the day’s progress. Now then, Johnson, when you walked through that door a few minutes ago, you probably did not expect to have much of a future with Wink and Kinker, but I think that with Mitchell as your mentor, you might just have a chance. So, you’ve been very quiet. Admirably restrained, even, and I don’t think I’m being too optimistic when I see that as the first lesson learned, first of many, let’s hope. So, young man. Speak up, you’re still in a job, I see a future for you at Wink and Kinker, and Mitchell is going to be your guru, what do you think of that?”
“You must be fucking joking,” said Johnson.